Oh, the joys of living alone.

I recently moved into my own place and I love it. Before this I lived with people continuously for about 8 years, often in close quarters (I'm talking about two people in a small studio, on multiple occasions, once lasting for almost a year).

In addition to having total control over the whole space, I'm enjoying the control I have over my own time.

Socializing is an option. It's like a deep breath, to realize that. The silence is amazing.

It's hard to describe this silence, since the wall and floors in this place are poorly insulated. I can hear my downstairs neighbor's alarm clock and dinner conversations. By silence I mean something different than actual quietness. Perhaps it's more of a quietness in my mind now that there is not the constant option of interaction.

I get to decide when I want to see people. Once last week I canceled plans with a friend because I decided I wanted to be alone for the evening. She understood because she also likes to be alone.

I've noticed that I'm more tidy and organized, almost obsessively. I'm finishing things. I'm getting more done. I do the dishes immediately. My clothes are organized. I do my laundry when it needs to get done, rather than ignoring it (and I don't leave it sitting in the machine). I'm getting rid of old stuff in the fridge instead letting it rot. There are no piles of jars left by the sink and constantly overlooked (ooh, this is a good one). I'm working on the clutter thing. And now that I have an almost operational compost pile, I'm sure that will be taken out on a regular basis.

This place is big. It's the most space I've ever had command over. I have three large rooms to myself, not including the bathroom. Everything is roomy.

Maybe it's the space that creates this feeling of silence.

The privacy is wonderful. I can get involved in things and be involved as long as I want, without interruption, without critique, without someone looking over my shoulder. I have always been someone who likes to operate in private, preferring to unveil things once I have mastered them to perfection. I can make decisions about my living environment and aspects of my life without having to discuss them with someone else. No one else is directly affected by it as I am. When people come over, they are guests.

The control of my time, space, and person is so freeing. Is this the silence?

Have I mentioned that I love it?

If only I could pay rent.